doing it all

I received an email {very sweet} from a blog reader {and friend of my sister}. Here is a piece of it:

“I am completely inspired and overwhelmed by all of your fun posts.  I am so amazed that you have time and energy to do all the things you do, with four little ones.  I just had my second baby in Jan and only hope to get to my ever growing to-do list of fun projects.  How do you do it?  and I was also wondering, how do you organize it all?  if you were willing to share I would love to hear, that is my struggle, keeping all my projects and dreams organized.”

First of all, I am humbled by these kind remarks. I am inspired by so many other women’s blogs so I am happy that my little blog can inspire others.

Now, I’m not exactly sure how to approach this for fear of sounding like I have it all figured out, because truthfully, I don’t.

But I’m going to say a prayer and trust that the Holy Spirit will say what He needs to say through me. 

Here it goes.

Moms have it tough.

Let me explain.

There is this struggle in every mom I know to be the best mommy to our children, but also be true to ourselves. To have a life outside of our babies. To have dreams and interests and hobbies and opportunities to wear real clothes. 

Regardless of whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home one, we all feel the pressure to do it all. And do it all well .

I certainly do.

I want to home school my kids, grow my business, sew a dress for Audrey, run some errands, keep my wood floors clean, make a healthy dinner, work out, spend time in prayer, be a good friend, play with the boys, read too many blogs, spend time with my husband, fold laundry, watch a tv show or two, go to book club, send handwritten notes, call my sisters AND redecorate my office, all in a single day. 

Anyone else out there?

And the problem is, I think I should be able to do it. And do it well.

But the truth is, I can’t.

Let me remind you {my sweet readers and friends} that a blog is a place to put your best face on. What you see here is my house when it is picked up, my kids when they are smiling, me when I look cute, projects that worked. I want to be vulnerable and honest in all I write, but truthfully, I also want to appear put together.

What you don’t see is my dirty bathrooms because I would rather sew than clean them. Or the piles of clean clothes that don’t get folded for days because I’d rather read a book than fold them. Or my children watching Curious George at 5pm because without that precocious monkey I would not be able to make dinner.

What I’m saying is that there is a trade-off.

Sometimes my boys play for hours by themselves. Sometimes I feel terrible that I am not upstairs creating lego masterpieces with them. Sometimes I am just thankful that they play so well.

Sometimes we eat out so that I don’t have to do dishes. 

Sometimes I don’t shower for four days. I’m not kidding. And by sometimes, I mean most of the time.

You get the point.

We have to make a sacrifice in one area to be able to achieve in another.

SO, to answer the question of how I do all that I do, let’s just say I make sacrifices.

But in a very practical way, here are some things that help:

1. I don’t watch much tv.

2. Audrey is the easiest baby alive.

3. The boys play well together {with an occasional eruption now and again}

4. We have several go-to activities for them that keep them occupied and are readily available. {We moved my office to give them a ‘lego room’ so that they can create to their heart’s content and I don’t have to find legos all over the house.  Our kitchen table is usually covered with colored pencils, paper scraps, scissors and drawings of monsters and battles and pirates.  The backyard, while I’d like to keep it nicely groomed, is often the site of ‘rat traps’ and mud making.  Dart guns and foam swords are favorites, as are every blanket and pillow in the house for fort making.} I like to keep things picked up and in order, but I regularly have to remember that part of my job is to encourage the boys to be creative and sometimes creativity is messy.

5. We have a monthly menu of dinners so I know what I am making and have the ingredients on hand.

6. Ryan is a firefighter and has a great schedule for having a young family. He is home quite a bit and helps out a lot.

7. I stay up late.

I’m not sure how to wrap this one up, but I hope this answers the question.

Remember the story of Mary & Martha?

^{Luke 10:38}As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

⁴¹"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but only one thing is needed.^[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

I think that sums it up perfectly. We need to choose what is better. We can not do it all. We must make little choices daily, little sacrifices, let some things go, allow for messes and unfinished projects and dirty bathrooms and too many kid shows and in the end, know that  G R A C E  is what gets us through.

dance

I’ve been known to cry at silly things, so that fact that I got teary watching the most un-sad video alive is not so surprising. But I think today it goes a little deeper. Ryan and I had a stupid ‘discussion’ this morning which led me to believe that sometimes we {I} just get way too caught up on things that don’t matter {like bamboo plants}. Anyway… this little video reminded me today to R.E.L.A.X., don’t take myself so seriously, and take a risk … it might make people smile {or, in my case, cry}.

Watch it!

shopping

I’m in the market for some new jeans. I love jeans. Wear them everyday. We joke in our family that it is the commodity I most favor {want to buy yourself flight lessons? Sure, but I get a new pair of jeans.}

So I figured I should start searching online to see what is out there.

Good Lord, look what I found:

I don’t really get the skinny jean thing. Very few people can actually pull it off, and even then, I don’t find it very flattering. Sorry if I offend you.

And apparently The Gap wanted to bring back the terrible mom jean. Geesh.

So I flipped over to American Eagle. They have lots of inexpensive jeans and are dressing the teens of the world.

Not much better.

Again, a terrible skinny jean.

And then a bootcut one that looks like leg-warmers.

This one is called the boyfriend jean {yes, the boyfriend who wads up his jeans, throws them on the floor, then rolls out of bed in the morning and puts them on – that is exactly who I’d like to base my fashion on}.

No luck on American Eagle. So off I head to Martin & Osa. A brand I like for their casual sophistication.

Not so much. This is a MODEL and she looks all bumpy. What in heaven’s name would these look like on a girl who just birthed my fourth baby?!

WHAT???!!!!

Seriously, the are selling slouchy pegged leg jeans. In a light wash. With PLEATS.

I think I need to just stick with my tried and true Seven A pocket.

today’s thoughts

1. I am ready for a living room facelift.  We have a built-in next to the fireplace that needs to be finished as well as a fresh coat of paint on the walls. But I’m also wanting some new pillows {which I’ll make}and a change in accessories to freshen up the space. I get this way at the onset of every season … the itch to change things around. My poor husband. I’ll take some before and after photos and post them when we’re finished.

2. My mother-in-law is a thrift store shopper. I am definitely not. She always comes out with the best treasures. I just come out feeling like I need some hand sanitizer. But, I benefit greatly from her thrifting trips as she tires of her collections quickly and I get to take what I want. Tonight, I’m headed over to her house to pick through her give-away pile. Hope I come home with some good stuff!

3. My daughter, while precious in every way, has a major spitting up problem. My goodness we go through a lot of outfits and burp cloths each day.

 
4. Ryan is at work tonight and I’m planning on watching every show that he can’t stand: project runway, shear genius and america’s next top model. So looking forward to my date with the dvr.

sick day

It’s a sick day around here. It started on Saturday in the middle of the night and continued through until late last night. I think we’re over the hump, but we’re laying low today, just in case. Ryan’s first day back to work since Audrey’s arrival was Sunday {conveniently, also the day I got sick. Fortunately, we had spent the night at his parent’s house and they took care of the boys while I spent the day resting}.  He’s back at work today and I was a little nervous about having three boys with the flu and one baby who likes to eat a lot.  But it’s been good today.

Sometimes sick days are just what I need. Mellow kids. Lots of movies. Coloring. Comfort foods like applesauce and graham crackers. 

     And hot chocolate {its a proven sore throat remedy, right?}

Time for reading {Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl}

Catching up on my bible study {Walking By Faith by Jennifer Rothschild}

Making flower headbands for a few special new babies.

And taking photos of my Audrey-girl. 

I had a few minutes while the boys were napping to play around with photo editing. I’m fascinated by what you can do with photos and eager to learn how to do it correctly.  This is just me messing around with some color, cropping and photo effects.

 

Here is the before :

And another before:

Kind of fun to play around and see the difference.

Time to get back to my book …

tonight

 

                                                                                        {lots and lots of laundry}

                                                                       {these sweet dainty little fingers}

                                                                                   {the best chocolate chips}

Not pictured:

cleaning up vomit {yuck … even when it is my own child’s}

watching dumb tv { i am definitely no smarter after watching The Bachelor: behind the scene}

finding some new fun blogs

feeding the little darling every hour.

affirmation and a necklace

First off, thank you to all the sweet women who commented on my last post. I debated about whether this was the right place to ‘journal’ and I think after reading your comments, it was.  After I pressed ‘publish’ I said a prayer that somehow my total honesty would make some sort of impact on someone and that ultimately God would be glorified.  I hope that both have occurred.

Sometimes I just need to write out my thoughts and process through things so that I can get past it, so thank you for being my listening audience. It seems like this idea of unrealistic expectations is something that I am not the only one struggling with which, believe me, feels good. 

I was doing my bible study last night {yes, night, not morning like I thought I should do} and it put into words just what I needed to hear. Paul writes:

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

That is good, yes?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

On a completely different note, I am not really a jewelry girl. I generally wear my wedding ring {my great-grandmother’s and I love it} some fake diamond studs, a watch and this:

About two years ago, I searched and searched for tiny charms that I could have my boys’ initials engraved on.  It was hard to find such little ones, but etsy came through for me. 

When I got the package in the mail I cried. They were perfect. One little charm for each of my darlings.

Once we named Audrey, I placed my order {kathrynriechert.com} and was delighted once again when I received the tiny package.

So now my necklace is complete.

My FOUR darlings.

I sort of wish it spelled out something cooler than ebma, but we weren’t really thinking about my necklace when naming our first three {it was, ridiculous as it sounds, a consideration when naming baby no. 4 – that’s just kind of how I am}.

    

It is petite and makes me happy.

I highly recommend Kathryn … shop her etsy site here.

I should

I had a hard day today. Not bad hard, just emotional and challenging hard.

I realized, with the help of my best friend, that I have some unrealistic expectations.

As a side note, do you have a best friend? I hope so. They are so wonderful and necessary. I adore my husband, and would probably call him my very best friend, but a girl friend is different. Today, without even knowing it, I needed my girl friend. I needed to be able to confess some things that only another mom and wife would understand.  And it helps that mine has known me since I was 18.

Back to my hard day.

It all started when we got on the subject of home school.  It is something our family has gone back and forth on and in thinking about next year with our oldest in first grade and gone every day for 7 hours has brought the idea back up. So I was just casually talking with my friend about my thoughts and got a little teary.  We moved on to another topic {or maybe just got interrupted by our little ones and their play-doh needs} when she said, “it seems like every time you talk about home schooling, you cry”.  Hmmm. She was right. WHY? And this led into quite the counseling session.

I cry because sometimes I feel like home school is the best option for our family. And yet, I am terrified of it. I don’t know how to do it; I’ve never seen it done; I don’t know how to teach one child while my three other are needing me; it is a huge sacrifice of my time and energy and I am not sure if I want to make it. I like {selfishly} the idea of sending my kids off to be taught by a teacher and play with friends while I get a little break. 

I feel disappointed in myself for feeling this way. I should be able to figure it out if it is the best for my children. I should be organized enough to do it. I should, I should, I should.

I should have a daily routine for my kids.

I should have a weekly meal plan and all the ingredients ready.

I should keep up with the laundry.

I should be up and dressed and ready before the kids wake.

I should exercise.

I should do my bible study first thing in the morning.

I should keep the house clean{er}.

I should send birthday cards.

I should stop eating anything with sugar in it.

I should call my friends more often.

I should have all our photos organized and made into albums.

I should mop my kitchen floor.

I should teach the boys scripture.

I should play with them more.

I should. I should. I should.

I was trying to write out some of these thoughts earlier tonight and Audrey just didn’t want me to put her down. I should have been processing, coming up with a list of unrealistic expectations and figuring out a solution so that I don’t feel so overwhelmed. But what I needed to do was hold my baby.  And she was so sweet, just looking at me and studying my face.  What really is more valuable?

I’m not sure where all of these expectations come from. I don’t have one particular person in mind that I’m trying to measure up to. I think I just take the culmination of everything I hear another mom doing and think I should be doing the same.  My friend Jen takes her kids on daily walks, so I suddenly feel like I am less of a mom for not doing the same. My friend K.C. makes really healthy {and tasty} food for her family. Amy is a photographer and takes amazing photos of her kids and has some really great traditions centered on family photos.  Nicole loves the Lord, talks about Him whenever she can and is beautifully dressed everyday.  Rae is always designing something more darling than before.  Annie has a gorgeous home, adores her kids and can’t wait for them to wake from their naps.  The list could go on and on. 

Sometimes I just don’t feel like I measure up.

And the worst of it is, the only one telling me this is me.

These are all expectations that I am creating for myself, all the while feeling like if I don’t do this, Ryan will be disappointed. If I don’t do that, my children will somehow suffer.

My girl friend reminded me of two things:

1. This has always been my struggle.  I create these lofty expectations and then get really burdened when I can’t meet them. It happened when she first met me and its happening now.  Striving for perfection is not a fun problem to have.

2. This is not what the Lord thinks of me.  He is not shaking his finger at me telling me I should do a better job of keeping the kitchen floor picked up. Nor is it what my husband or children or friends think of me.  Don’t get me wrong, I can be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend.  There is always room for improvement and I am all about continuing to learn and grow. My problem is that when I feel like I have so many shoulds, I get overwhelmed, stuck and so afraid of failing or disappointing, that I don’t even try.

And I’ll add one more:

I did have a baby two weeks ago.

My sweet girl eats so often during the day that I’ve spent more time sitting on the couch in her short lifetime than I have in months. All that downtime has made me feel unproductive.  I am not sleeping as much as usual, so my motivation and energy level is slightly lower than normal.  And I do have three other children.

I should probably cut myself a little slack.

So Audrey’s nursery is not done. She is healthy.

So the laundry is heaped in baskets, still unfolded.  We have clothes.

So I haven’t written thank you cards for all the meals we’ve eaten these past two weeks.  My friends understand.

I’m going to work on getting more organized, especially with meals and our daily schedule.  I’m going to create a list of what is important to me and what kind of wife and mom and woman I want to be.  It is good for me to regroup, set new goals and try to improve on myself.

But I’m also going to remember that no amount of striving will earn greater love. My kids just want to hang out with me. My husband has already chosen me. And, most of all, my Heavenly Father takes me just as I am and fills in my many gaps with His grace.  How amazing is that?

do not be anxious

This is a journal entry today, just to forewarn you. 

I’m ready to have this baby. I think I’ve been ready for the past few weeks, but now I am really ready.  Our bags are packed, the house is freshly vacuumed, thank you notes are written, we may have even decided on a name.  Now, the nursery is far from complete, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that 1. she won’t be sleeping there right away anyway and 2. she wouldn’t know the difference as she won’t be able to see further than a few inches right at the beginning. She’ll get her beautiful room soon and I’m excited about sharing it with all my kind blog-friends.

Anyway, I’m ready. Mentally and most of all physically. Yesterday I layed on the couch for most of the day not feeling very well. Nausea I don’t remember with the boys. Utter exhaustion. Contractions every five minutes for HOURS. But they weren’t getting worse, so I tried not to get too ahead of myself. Then I went to bed, and poof, the contractions are gone. Very disappointing. Actually, the contractions are not completely gone, I just had one.

As I was laying on the couch being the picture of the mom I try not to be {tv on, kids still in pj’s, allowing asking them to play unattended for hours} I was gently reminded of this verse:

And so, as I rested there, I prayed. And gave thanks. And made my request.  And I claim this promise:

I’m thankful for this promise, since what I really need right now is to just rest in the fact that my Father, the Creator of All has perfect timing.  Our baby will be here when the Lord wants her here.

Your answer will come. Your troubles will be resolved. Your needs will be met. IN HIS TIME. So in the meantime, pray, give thanks, make your requests. Then rest. But maybe not on a couch in front of tv all day.

keeping up the house

I received a question the other day from a reader {and another one the same day from a real life friend} about how I keep my house clean. Now, let me clarify for just a second: my house is not necessarily clean, just picked up.  There is a major difference.  I don’t love cleaning, and a little dust on the furniture doesn’t phase me much. But stuff {toys, papers, random socks} all over drives me crazy.  In no way do I think of myself as a great housekeeper, but I do have a few strategies to keep my surroundings somewhat orderly.

1. B O U N D A R I E S

It sounds so harsh, but the kids need some sort of boundaries or else I would be swallowed by toys.  So legos stay in the playroom, dart guns are only to be shot upstairs {and never at girls – daddy’s best rule ever!}, blankies stay in their beds {in theory}, crayons & art supplies belong in the kitchen.  

We keep one basket of blocks in the living room for a quick distraction. Otherwise, all of our toys are kept upstairs {aren’t I friendly?!}.

I want the boys to feel comfortable in our home, but I also want them to realize that not every room is a playroom. For example, they can build forts with the playroom couch cushions, but they know that the living room couch is for sitting.

Of course toys make their way downstairs {particularly by No. 3, who pretty much is my shadow all day long}.  I try not to be too crazy-mom about this, I just make sure they make their way back upstairs by the end of the day {we keep a large basket on the stair landing and throughout the day I toss all the random stuff in it. I would like to say that I empty it often, but really, I just wait until I can’t handle the mess anymore, or we’re having company over}.

2. O R G A N I Z A T I O N

Not a new idea, but it works for us: separate baskets for different categories of toys. One for cars. One for lincoln logs. One for tools.  You get the picture. My husband thinks I’m a little neurotic on this one {why not let the boys just throw all their toys in one big bin? he questions} but I’m convinced keeping things separated makes life much easier for me.  The boys are young, but they generally know that if they want a stuffed animal, they can find it in the soft toy bin. Or if they are searching for a particular batman guy, it is likely in the figurine bin. I think it teaches them about taking care of their things, about sorting and organizing, and it keeps every toy from being dumped out to find that one elusive hot wheel.

3.  U P K E E P

My mother-in-law jokes that every night I go through a maniac clean-up mode. And, she is so right. If the dishes aren’t {mostly} done, the counters cleared, floors picked up and things in their general location, I just can’t relax.  So I make my way around the house putting things in their place.  It only takes a few minutes, but it helps me enjoy the remainder of my evening and is much more pleasant to wake up to a ‘reset’ house.  

Do you have any great ideas for keeping your house organized? Or maybe I need some tips on how to keep my house clean! Please share …

wholesome goodness

{m y n i g h t}
carrot cake +
milk
+
the bachelor

Oh, so wholesome.
Seriously, i do love carrot cake. And there is just something about The Bachelor that draws me in. So I'm a little bit in Heaven {it also helps that I am cozy on the couch in my pj's with the house mostly clean and the children sound asleep}.

I hope your night is as delightful {and perhaps a bit more wholesome}.

he knows her name

In college, we went to church at Christian Assembly, the home of worship singer & songwriter Tommy Walker. So many of his songs have gained popularity and because our university was nearby, many were sung at our weekly chapel services. Needless to say, many of Tommy Walker’s songs have deep meaning to me and stir up emotions very quickly {well, truly, many things stir up emotions in this girl, but you get the idea}.

My best friend just sent me a link to this one … just as a walk down memory lane. I did always love this song for so many reasons. There was a period in college that was very hard for me and this song brought much comfort. To know that I had a heavenly father who adored me was exactly what I needed to hear at that time {still do, in fact!}. Plus, a really cute boy at school sang this one on our university’s first worship cd and so I always had a sort of affection for it. Oh, Jay Murphy.

A N Y W A Y …

I just listened to it and realized that not having a name for my daughter is hard for me. I think I just want to know who she is. And yet, I can’t for the life of me figure out what her name is. Now, bear with the video, because it is pretty cheesy and it was a song that was recorded in 1998 {12 years ago! Oh my!}, so it is a little dated. But it is beautiful. And it really does speak to me every time I hear it. This time around, it is the fact that

He knows her name

I just get to carry her. She is really His and He knows everything about her before she is even seen by me. What a great reminder and a reassurance to me that although we don’t have a face or a name or little feet to know yet, she has been known since time began.

May you be blessed today by this oldie but goodie.

time to think

The nature of my business is that most of it takes place in November and December. Which means for the past two months, I've been busy. Really busy.

So now, to not have proofs to create and projects to complete and emails to return, I have {what feels like} a lot of free time.

Most of which, I've been spending thinking about our baby. And her room. And her name. And her clothes.

And feeling a little like this:

{amazing photo, huh?}

This little lady is getting big {or maybe it is just this mommy} and I'm pretty ready to be finished with this pregnancy thing. Six weeks to go ...

Anyway, this time has given me a chance to come up with some new goals, new inspiration and lots of new project ideas. Here's my list:

1. Wake before the boys. Ideally, I'd love to get up to a quiet house, pour a cup of orange juice {my version of coffee} and spend some time in God's Word. Ideally. What usually happens is the boys come into my room and tap repetitively on my arm until I wake up and let them know they are free to go play legos. Then I fall back to sleep. Until they come in asking for breakfast. I really, really, want their mornings to be more enjoyable and I would love to start my day off the right way. IT IS JUST SO HARD TO GET OUT OF BED! I'm working on it ... the last two days, I was up first. Only by a few minutes, but first, nevertheless.

2. Make more effort to spend quality time with the boys. I was just talking with my friend about this ... I do a lot of side by side activities {i.e. boys playing legos, me working on invitations. We're in the same room and interacting, but doing separate activities}. I'd like to work in more time doing the same activity. It probably won't be playing legos because I am very bad at creating chariots and catamarans and griffins out of little rectangular pieces, but I do love to read to them and do art projects. So I'd like to be more intentional about it.

3. Turn on worship music when we're just hanging out around home.

4. Remember birthdays and send cards. This one is more Ryan's desire, but I wholeheartedly agree and it will probably fall into my lap to complete {being that I am a card designer}.

5. Stop using the microwave. We've nearly accomplished this one {except for the bagel I defrosted today}. We've both heard some scary research about the dangers of microwaves and decided that we really don't need to use it. I encourage you to try it out ... you may have to plan a little ahead and wash a few extra dishes and wait longer for food to heat up, but so far for us, it has totally been worth it.

6. Memorize scripture. Both me & the boys.

As for projects:

1. Do the nursery. I'll post some new photos and ideas soon. I'm sort of stumped and trying to get past my fear of color for this one. I'll most likely not have the room done by the time the baby arrives, as it is chilly here and ventilating while painting is a challenge. And painting without ventilating is not a great idea. Particularly if you are pregnant.

2. Figure out what to put on the dining room table. If you aren't entertaining, do you set it? Leave it empty? I'm looking into this one ...

3. Create a monthly calendar {to post those aforementioned birthdays}.

4. Turn this great gaudy gold frame into a chalkboard for the kitchen. Then write a weekly scripture to memorize.

5. Reupholster a chair that has been sitting in our entry covered by a folded piece of fabric for three years. It really couldn't be that hard.

6. Wallpaper the entry. I really want this one, but would settle for something else if I could find one I like as much.

7. Organize, organize, organize.

That's enough for now. I really should be getting to bed so that I can wake before my munchkins ...

the real me

i'm feeling a little conflicted.

i started a family blog about 2 years ago. i {obviously} was behind the times and really had no idea how vast the blog world was until i started clicking and realizing all of the amazingly talented writers, crafters, mothers, decorators, etc. that are out there. anyway, i was having fun recording my children's lives and jotting down my thoughts. and i started getting readers {well, besides my darling mom and sisters}. there is something about a stranger reading about my life and viewing photos of my home & family {and leaving really kind comments} that made me want to keep going.

but i have a husband who loves his family and really felt that we should keep our children's lives private. i couldn't argue ... while i know the people who read what i have to write are not out to harm, we do live in a time where we have to do the best we can to protect what is most special to us. in order to preserve our family's anonymity and to best respect my husband, i changed our family blog to a "by invitation only" one.

and started this one.

i've had my business for several years and it has been fun to venture into new areas of exposure. i figured i could use it as a place to market my business, but also document my creative successes {and failures}. i thought i could separate my life and just be the 'jones design company' emily.

but, truthfully, as much as i'd like you all to think that i am this great business woman who is very professional and talented and perfect, i am just a regular girl.

mostly a mommy.

a mom who loves to decorate and design and has been completely blessed with clients who make my small business meaningful to me, but also a mom who can't seem to keep up with the laundry {three small boys do make a mess of their clothes} and spends more time thinking about projects than actually doing them.

so, i've been questioning. do i have to have separate blogs? does this one need to be geared to just my designs? or can i be me? must i reserve this space for professionalism or can i put my personality and honesty into it?

i think this is more about my life than it is about a blog. i say it over and over that so much of life is about finding that fine balance. i'm afraid i haven't quite figured it out. maybe that is what i should work on in 2010. balancing my creativity with the practical needs of our family. balancing time with my little ones with time with my husband. balancing alone time with keeping up with friendships. doing chores versus reading blogs {!}. i should probably get this figured out pretty quick because we've got a new little baby coming soon.

anyway, i would love to simplify and just have one blog. and another part of me wonders if 1. anyone is interested in my everyday life and 2. if for the sake of running a business, i should maintain some distance between work and private life.

thoughts? i could use some good ones as i am in the midst of the '8 months pregnant brain'.

happiness is ...

h a p p i n e s s
i s

{freshly cut lilacs}

{clean floors}

{embroidery projects}

{the first s'more of the season}