the real me

i'm feeling a little conflicted.

i started a family blog about 2 years ago. i {obviously} was behind the times and really had no idea how vast the blog world was until i started clicking and realizing all of the amazingly talented writers, crafters, mothers, decorators, etc. that are out there. anyway, i was having fun recording my children's lives and jotting down my thoughts. and i started getting readers {well, besides my darling mom and sisters}. there is something about a stranger reading about my life and viewing photos of my home & family {and leaving really kind comments} that made me want to keep going.

but i have a husband who loves his family and really felt that we should keep our children's lives private. i couldn't argue ... while i know the people who read what i have to write are not out to harm, we do live in a time where we have to do the best we can to protect what is most special to us. in order to preserve our family's anonymity and to best respect my husband, i changed our family blog to a "by invitation only" one.

and started this one.

i've had my business for several years and it has been fun to venture into new areas of exposure. i figured i could use it as a place to market my business, but also document my creative successes {and failures}. i thought i could separate my life and just be the 'jones design company' emily.

but, truthfully, as much as i'd like you all to think that i am this great business woman who is very professional and talented and perfect, i am just a regular girl.

mostly a mommy.

a mom who loves to decorate and design and has been completely blessed with clients who make my small business meaningful to me, but also a mom who can't seem to keep up with the laundry {three small boys do make a mess of their clothes} and spends more time thinking about projects than actually doing them.

so, i've been questioning. do i have to have separate blogs? does this one need to be geared to just my designs? or can i be me? must i reserve this space for professionalism or can i put my personality and honesty into it?

i think this is more about my life than it is about a blog. i say it over and over that so much of life is about finding that fine balance. i'm afraid i haven't quite figured it out. maybe that is what i should work on in 2010. balancing my creativity with the practical needs of our family. balancing time with my little ones with time with my husband. balancing alone time with keeping up with friendships. doing chores versus reading blogs {!}. i should probably get this figured out pretty quick because we've got a new little baby coming soon.

anyway, i would love to simplify and just have one blog. and another part of me wonders if 1. anyone is interested in my everyday life and 2. if for the sake of running a business, i should maintain some distance between work and private life.

thoughts? i could use some good ones as i am in the midst of the '8 months pregnant brain'.